September 23, 2010

"It was the fart heard round the world."
"The thunder from my down under."
"It went through 2 bluetooth headsets."
Critical reaction to male flatulence heard by female through a bluetooth headset

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"If I slept with my wife, I'd be in traction"
Male boss to male coworker.

"At the end of the day, my knees are sore!"
Male coworker to male boss

September 16, 2010

"I have had it in all night and it's just now starting to get itchy 5 hours later."
Said by female to male while talking about her new bluetooth headset.

September 12, 2010

"I wish my girlfriend was that quick!"
Said by male to group of friends in reference to how fast he got a soda from Pizza Joint server.

"I swear to God, he needs a coffee enema!"
Said by female to group. Female meant to say coffee IV, but it came out totally wrong due to severe exhaustion.

September 7, 2010

"Why have sex? Because it's fun!"
Said to class by male anthropology professor discussing meiosis.

"Yeah its going to take awhile, that thing is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a file being opened.

"Your opening is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a doorway in a cubicle

"But what if I am only shooting boys?"
Said by male to female in reference to genetics

September 1, 2010

"He said he had a wide stance!"
Said by a Male Professor to class when describing the Larry Craig Scandal.