"There was a nude beach there, and there was a couple pickle balling."
Coworker describing his vacation
"Can I taste a chip that's in your dip?"
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Monday, December 27, 2010
December 27, 2010
"You're in the toilet and she is licking your leg."
Female describing the actions of the family dog
"You close the door and hear whimpering"
Female describing the actions of the family dog
Female describing the actions of the family dog
"You close the door and hear whimpering"
Female describing the actions of the family dog
Sunday, December 26, 2010
December 26, 2010
"You drink it in, and it slowly slides down your throat, feeling so good"
Male to female, describing taking cough medicine.
Male to female, describing taking cough medicine.
Friday, December 24, 2010
December 23, 2010
"I didn't realize how big it was until I got it in."
Female to male, after she took a bite of a huge Chimichanga .
Female to male, after she took a bite of a huge Chimichanga .
Friday, December 17, 2010
December 17, 2010
"You can put it in your pants, but don't try to get on an airplane with it afterward."
Male coworker to another male coworker.
Male coworker to another male coworker.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
December 15, 2010
"Do you want it long and hard or new and easy?"
Fitness instructor in reference to song choices.
Fitness instructor in reference to song choices.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
December 14, 2010
"I gave him what he wanted. Now give me some sugar!"
Male coworker describing the outcome of a meeting.
Male coworker describing the outcome of a meeting.
Monday, December 13, 2010
December 13, 2010
"It is all gooey. It feels weird."
Boyfriend to his girlfriend at Chinese restaurant.
"It's Vasoline. It's good for you!"
Girlfriend to her boyfriend at Chinese restaurant.
"There is no right context for that"
In reference to the above comment.
"It's time we call the Pirates"
Male coworker to another male coworker.
"I just finished mine, but I can start putting in yours."
Male to female in random conversation.
"I brought the butter for his rolls"
Female to male, while discussing who brought what to a church Christmas party
"The travel wiener. Sounds like a hot dog place."
Male to female in random conversation.
"I yawned and my tongue got stuck"
Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole.
"It took about 10 minutes with hot water in the area for my tongue to come loose."
Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole.
"Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole."
Yeah, that's what he said.
"Wow this is a long one"
Yeah, that's what he said.
Boyfriend to his girlfriend at Chinese restaurant.
"It's Vasoline. It's good for you!"
Girlfriend to her boyfriend at Chinese restaurant.
"There is no right context for that"
In reference to the above comment.
"It's time we call the Pirates"
Male coworker to another male coworker.
"I just finished mine, but I can start putting in yours."
Male to female in random conversation.
"I brought the butter for his rolls"
Female to male, while discussing who brought what to a church Christmas party
"The travel wiener. Sounds like a hot dog place."
Male to female in random conversation.
"I yawned and my tongue got stuck"
Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole.
"It took about 10 minutes with hot water in the area for my tongue to come loose."
Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole.
"Female to male, discussing the horror of getting one's tongue stuck on a pole."
Yeah, that's what he said.
"Wow this is a long one"
Yeah, that's what he said.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
October 21, 2010
"Mine may smell, but yours go the distance."
You know you are in love when you can talk about intestinal distress as a couple.
"Plato's Retreat, Jungle Style!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing primate sexual behavior.
"Somebody had to be doing the nasty!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing human reproduction.
"Let's get coffee and do the fandango!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing casual sex among human beings.
"Apparently there is a trait for blue penises in South America. I don't think I want this, too close to blue balls."
Anthropology professor to class when discussing genetics.
"Who was going to help them? God?! God was a pain in the ass for the Sodomites."
Male theology professor at Loyola University Chicago
You know you are in love when you can talk about intestinal distress as a couple.
"Plato's Retreat, Jungle Style!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing primate sexual behavior.
"Somebody had to be doing the nasty!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing human reproduction.
"Let's get coffee and do the fandango!"
Anthropology professor to class when discussing casual sex among human beings.
"Apparently there is a trait for blue penises in South America. I don't think I want this, too close to blue balls."
Anthropology professor to class when discussing genetics.
"Who was going to help them? God?! God was a pain in the ass for the Sodomites."
Male theology professor at Loyola University Chicago
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
October 19, 2010
"Do you want to try my honey?"
Female to father upon purchase of a new jar of honey.
Female to father upon purchase of a new jar of honey.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
October 16, 2010
"I was doing weed all day and all night. Weed all week long. Weed all of my waking moments."
Man talking about his yard work.
"Blowjob!"
Female said to male while a male server walks by.
Man talking about his yard work.
"Blowjob!"
Female said to male while a male server walks by.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
September 23, 2010
"It was the fart heard round the world."
"The thunder from my down under."
"It went through 2 bluetooth headsets."
Critical reaction to male flatulence heard by female through a bluetooth headset
"If I slept with my wife, I'd be in traction"
Male boss to male coworker.
"At the end of the day, my knees are sore!"
Male coworker to male boss
"The thunder from my down under."
"It went through 2 bluetooth headsets."
Critical reaction to male flatulence heard by female through a bluetooth headset
"If I slept with my wife, I'd be in traction"
Male boss to male coworker.
"At the end of the day, my knees are sore!"
Male coworker to male boss
Thursday, September 16, 2010
September 16, 2010
"I have had it in all night and it's just now starting to get itchy 5 hours later."
Said by female to male while talking about her new bluetooth headset.
Said by female to male while talking about her new bluetooth headset.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
September 12, 2010
"I wish my girlfriend was that quick!"
Said by male to group of friends in reference to how fast he got a soda from Pizza Joint server.
"I swear to God, he needs a coffee enema!"
Said by female to group. Female meant to say coffee IV, but it came out totally wrong due to severe exhaustion.
Said by male to group of friends in reference to how fast he got a soda from Pizza Joint server.
"I swear to God, he needs a coffee enema!"
Said by female to group. Female meant to say coffee IV, but it came out totally wrong due to severe exhaustion.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
September 7, 2010
"Why have sex? Because it's fun!"
Said to class by male anthropology professor discussing meiosis.
"Yeah its going to take awhile, that thing is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a file being opened.
"Your opening is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a doorway in a cubicle
"But what if I am only shooting boys?"
Said by male to female in reference to genetics
Said to class by male anthropology professor discussing meiosis.
"Yeah its going to take awhile, that thing is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a file being opened.
"Your opening is huge!"
Said by female to male in reference to a doorway in a cubicle
"But what if I am only shooting boys?"
Said by male to female in reference to genetics
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
September 1, 2010
"He said he had a wide stance!"
Said by a Male Professor to class when describing the Larry Craig Scandal.
Said by a Male Professor to class when describing the Larry Craig Scandal.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
August 24th, 2010
"I went down on a cucumber and didn't break a dish"
(Female to male) Said after a server slipped and fell at work on a cumber slice. She was carrying a full tray of dishes.
"Pencil Sharpener"
(Male to female) Used to describe the belly button, also know as the finger's playplace
"Potato"
(Male to female) Used to describe the size of feces the girl just pooped.
"Pink nuts"
(Male to female) Random comment after discussing the use of a female urination device and adding them as an additional decoration.
"Rabbit raisinettes"
(Male to female) Said after female had issues with number 2 in the restroom
"Machine gun farting"
(Female to male) Said after she ripped 60 miles of farts
"Honey, how do I make ramen noodles without burning them?"
(Female to male) Girlfriend learning how to cook
(Female to male) Said after a server slipped and fell at work on a cumber slice. She was carrying a full tray of dishes.
"Pencil Sharpener"
(Male to female) Used to describe the belly button, also know as the finger's playplace
"Potato"
(Male to female) Used to describe the size of feces the girl just pooped.
"Pink nuts"
(Male to female) Random comment after discussing the use of a female urination device and adding them as an additional decoration.
"Rabbit raisinettes"
(Male to female) Said after female had issues with number 2 in the restroom
"Machine gun farting"
(Female to male) Said after she ripped 60 miles of farts
"Honey, how do I make ramen noodles without burning them?"
(Female to male) Girlfriend learning how to cook
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)