Monday, June 20, 2011

June 20, 2011

"Damn these balls are hot!"
Male discussing the temperature of items in his golf bag.

"I almost passed out when he started popping me cause he gave me no warning."
Female describing her chiro appointment.

Monday, May 23, 2011

May 23, 2011

"We are not shaving it for humidity."
Male coworker to a group of male coworkers, discussing repairing a door which was sticking.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

May 4, 2011

"*gagging sounds* Dennis, always a pleasure."
Male coworker talking to another male coworker making noises for fun.

Monday, May 2, 2011

May 2, 2011

"I can never finish my 3-ways, since I am always being called up to the front."
Female complaining about working at a sandwich shop

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

April 26, 2011

"Okay, I'm gonna eat a lot of nuts tonight cause I can."
"...but I want nuts!"

Female, sharing her snacking plan.

Monday, April 25, 2011

April 25, 2011

"We probably shouldn't let them shit out."
Mother to daughter discussing where to put Easter eggs.

"These balls are too big buddy."
Neighbor to neighbor.

"What is he getting hard on himself about?"
Cousin to Cousin talking about school and men.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

April 19, 2011

"How do i get it up?"
Choir director to choir member about microphone stand

Monday, April 18, 2011

April 18, 2011

"...but i can't sit on something that hard for that long..."
Female describing issue with sitting on hard chairs due to nerve issues.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

April 14, 2011

"It's all about control and loosening up my grip."
"Let your grips lead the club, not the head."
"It's about putting it in the hole."
Female discussing golf techniques.

Monday, April 11, 2011

April 11, 2011

"Do you know how much it hurt, laying there on something hard?"
Female discussing her x-ray experience

"He takes his meat catching very seriously."
Female discussing her husband's shrimp catching technique at a Japanese restaurant.

Male: "Are your nuts in your mouth, and are you sucking on them?"
Female: "They are nice and hard"
Discussion about her eating almonds.

"I'd better bring my knee pads tomorrow..."
Male coworker to male boss, concerning todo tasks.

"Oh, I put that in there."
Male to female, concerning her nuts.

Male: "So is your nutbag pretty full?"
Female: "No, I just put my hand in it for the first time tonight."
Continued discussion concerning the snacking upon almonds

Sunday, March 20, 2011

March 21, 2011

"Teabags make great facials, when they are hot on your face"
A mother gives beauty advice.

"(... He ...) said he didn't have time to do him"
Male coworker giving the reason why a male manager could not complete a task for another male manager.

"I can't keep up with your fingers"
Female to male, discussing speed of text messages.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

March 15, 2011

"You can play with it all you want, but don't be surprised when you take a load."
Male computer technician, giving a briefing about a new battery backup unit.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

March 8, 2011

"There's 'P' down there"
Male coworker to another coworker while looking in an alphabetized bottom drawer.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

February 20, 2011

Female: "Is that the little stick you pound meat with?"

Male: "Yes, it is the meat hammer."
Couple discussing what a meat tenderizer looks like.

Friday, February 18, 2011

February 18, 2011

female: "I swear i need to learn how to swallow."

male: "Did it miss your mouth and roll down your chin again?"

female: "No i choked."

male: "Did you take it too deeply again?"

female: "It went down the wrong hole."

male: "It may have been the wrong hole, but for a split second it was oh so right."
Female conversing with male about choking on buttered toast

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

February 17, 2011

"I looked at his unit today."
Male coworker to two other male coworkers in reference to fixing another male coworker's CD lamination machine.

"Aren't you glad he spreads it? He taught me too!"
Said by mom to daughter talking about how her son teaches women how to start fires using a fire starter.

"You should come to me."
Comment made by a lady to a man concerning travel.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Feburary 10, 2011

"I'm picturing myself on my hands and knees in your cube"
Male coworker to male boss

Friday, January 28, 2011

January 28, 2011

"I blew it and it feels better."
Female to male, talking about how she dealt with a stuffed up nose.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

January 16, 2011

"I had it out for a reason... because I didn't put it in."
Male to Female, talking about a book on the nightstand.

"Had to force down the first couple swallows- but then it wasn't that bad. Maybe an acquired taste I'll learn to like."
Female describing the first time drinking black coffee.

Friday, January 14, 2011

January 14, 2011

"Let me get this straight... the 'vet will be on top?"

"No, I'll be in the 'vet."


Coworkers talking about cars

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

January 12, 2011

"Have you seen an 8 inch floppy?"
Male coworker to another male coworker talking about ancient computer hardware

"We could just do it at your desk and call it a meeting."
Male coworker to another male coworker talking about setting up a meeting.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

January 4, 2011

"Six feet, that's worth framing!"

"Wow honey that thing is huge!"

"I'll keep it hot, wet, and dripping for you."
Waitress at Wafflehouse to a customer concerning coffee